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What is a True Feminist?

A woman is a man like a fish is a bicycle!

I've revamped the Gloria Steinem quote to be – uh – less ridiculous. Back in the 1960's, the women's liberation movement and Ms. Steinem gave birth to a new order of female: the anti-male. Feminists got the vote, burned their bras and proclaimed sexual freedom. They strived to be just like men – but simply created equal opportunity for STD's and AIDS. They also orchestrated the emasculation of men. If women aren't feminine then what's a poor guy to do? He'll just get confused!

It was doomed from the start. A copy of a Rembrandt will never be a Rembrandt. A woman cannot be a man. Nor should she try. The feminist movement, in its zest to prove equality managed only to highlight the opposite.

My name is Sam, and I grew up in a liberated household feeling vaguely disadvantaged because of my sex – like I had to prove myself, my intelligence, constantly. An over-achiever, I studied biomedical engineering at Duke University, as a minority female. I left Duke for an international modeling career, where I had my fill of misogynistic jerks and got a lot of "shut up and look pretty" thrown at me, but I learned to take it in stride and appreciate my femininity as an asset. Also, I made a heck of lot more money than most of my male counterparts. And yet, because of my upbringing, I still struggled with feeling inadequate. I wasn't male.

Then I fell in love – and I realized I didn't want to be a man! Fast forward to me abandoning my thriving acting career to devote myself to my gravely ill fiancé (now husband). Some people probably thought I was weak and stupid. My answer was that love mattered more. And this man needed me. Though feminist organizations might have judged me harshly, it was my strongest moment: a positive choice that defined me as a woman – as a human.

Over time I've come to realize I wasted a lot of energy trying to fit myself in a paradigm that insists on gender equality where there really is none to be found. Today I thrive on the parity in my marriage. I don't do the work my husband does, but he can't create life nearly as well as I do. I fix the DVD player but he washes my car for me. And if there is a funny noise downstairs at night, it's always his turn.

I am introducing a new kind of feminist, a True Feminist; one who believes in the natural strengths and abilities of each of the sexes. I want us to applaud women who distinguish themselves as women: support being female, the softer, fairer, gentler sex, for all its unique qualities. Feminists should be striving for parity from a position of strength, not equality in weakness.

Here on TrueFeminist.com, you'll find a website dedicated to the True Feminist, supporting the female who sees her gender as an asset and wouldn't trade it for any amount of hair on her chest.